You know I won't give in

I just went on the most beautiful drive. So I started in the direction of Lake St.Catherine. I didn't really know where I was going but I like to just take random roads and explore. I usually end up having to turn around a few times. At one point I found myself on a gravel road in the middle of the woods, lets just say my car doesn't love gravel roads. Anyway, I go over a bridge that cuts through a narrow part of the lake and I take a left hand turn. I head up a hill and when I get to the top there is the most amazing panoramic view. We're talking lake and rock cliff mountains to the left and farms and rolling fields to the right. An absolutely breathtaking view. I LOVE finding things like this. I wanted to just stop, pull over and take a photo, but I didn't have a camera with me of course. Neither do I have a camera that would have done that view any justice. May I also mention that my sunroof was open, my window was cracked and I was kind of hot! I continued to drive amidst farms and fields and forest, completely lost, until I spotted a sign for POULTNEY. So yes, I was lost and I found my way back to school without my GPS. Which I had already dug out of my glove compartment to find out that it didn't have any signal. I really wasn't concerned anyway, I knew I could just backtrack if worst came to worst. I must admit, there is a real feeling of freedom and accomplishment when you don't have to rely on cellphones or computers or GPS etc. to find your way home. 
          This little expedition also made me truly realize how different Vermont is from New York. I mean I knew VT and NY were quite different. But I guess I didn't fully grasp it until today. It seems like in NY there are very few places you can go that are really far from a Walmart or a McDonald's. In Vermont however, general stores still exist, and people still go to them....normal people, not just tourists. Even if there was a Walmart nearby (which i'm sure there wasn't) you would never know there was. VT just gives you a feeling that you're getting away. Most Vermonters are practical for a reason, because they have no choice! They drive 4-wheel drive vehicles because many live on gravel roads and they actually need 4-wheel drive. Don't get me wrong, I know there are Vermonters that are much like those folks from NY or there are people right over the border, in Granville, that spend most of their time in Vermont. I am generalizing. But even the fact that there is a certain inconvenience about VT that, to me, is kind of nice. I'll admit that I sometimes get annoyed about the ridiculous potholes on roads around here and the amount of time the plows wait to plow, but I think the problem is me, not the Vermont roads. I have been spoiled and not very practical, living in NY. Maybe the correlation between asshole NY drivers and well-maintained NY roads is not a coincidence. Perhaps New Yorkers need to take a deep breath and simply wait for the snow to stop before they get out on the roads, or they need to slow down and the potholes wouldn't be such a problem.
      Of course it may take me a few years to ACTUALLY slow down. I have, in fact, lived in NY my entire life, it's practically in my blood. But I came back to my room feeling so happy and healthy and free. Which is impressive because I left my room kind of angry and depressed. Getting away from things, if only for a little while, made me realize that I shouldn't take life too seriously. Things seem to have a way of working out, no matter how bad they seem. And I received a really happy phone call when I got back to my room also. My conclusion, is that this day isn't as bad as it seemed a few hours ago, and I think I'm going to survive the rest of the semester.

Close your eyes, and I will twirl you around.

Finally I have some free time. Although this is the busiest time of the school year, I enjoy it the most. I like knowing that I only have a few weeks left, it always flies by. This is a strange time in my life, I am on the verge of a lot of change. Preparing for the conclusion of my college career is just an insane, abstract proposition. I can't really wrap my mind around the idea of not being in school. I mean, obviously I understand it, but I don't think I really will fully grasp what it all entails until it is here. After 17 years in school, not being in school is ridiculous. Maybe I should go to graduate school? haha. We shall see.

       People deal with change differently. I don't see myself as a person that is very good at embracing change. I am working on that, because I think it is really crucial. Everything always works out in the end, why not embrace change in your life? Eventually it is going to change anyway, whether you like it or not, so you may as well welcome it. Life keeps on coming, whether you are ready for it or not.

        It is a wonderful, sunny day. Light blue skies. The high for today is supposed to be 62 degrees. That means that when I drive to Rutland in a bit, I can open my sunroof. Yessssss. In addition, I plan to get a medium coffee from Dunkin Donuts. When I think about Dunkin Donuts I feel a glimpse of what it must feel like to be a crack-addict. I get way too excited when I think about Dunkin Donuts coffee. Ridiculous. My addiction all started last summer at my job. This summer, I have the same job so I presume my addiction will continue to be fueled. I suppose it isn't the worst thing in the world. Maybe I shouldn't call it an addiction, just a guilty pleasure.

"Real life I'm sad to see you go, I'll miss you with all my heart, but I'd rather be alone."

Ah, I am so sick. Running on allergy medicine today. I have a presentation in about half an hour on the relationship between social media and the natural environment. An interesting subject to ponder. The presentation is only 2 minutes long, thankfully. It has gotten me thinking, though. Social media, the internet, In my opinion, is no substitution for spending time in nature. The constant information that is thrown at internet users has it's place, but this doesn't particularly lead to any understanding of any situation.  It is so easy to get carried away with psychological needs and complaints while browsing the internet. Every social pressure and image is displayed for all to see. There is a sense of peace and slice of reality in nature that just isn't present in the online world.
       I can hardly believe it is April 8th already. Before I know it, it is going to be Summer break. I have mixed feelings about that of course. I am looking forward to relaxing for a bit, that is certain. Vermont will be missed though, I am sure. I apologize for my sort of boring, short posts lately. I have been really really busy. Hopefully this weekend I will have more time to write a thoughtful post.

"Dreams don't turn to dust"

 

First of all, I am pissed. The release date for the new Owl City album, All Things Bright and Beautiful, which I pre-ordered, has been pushed back to June 9th. What the hell. So instead of getting home for the summer and blasting new Owl City music in my car, with the sunroof open, I will be blasting old Owl City music. Mildly pissed. On a different, but equally pissed note, I have a shit ton of things to do. I just met with the registrar office and received 2 more forms/processes I have to go through to ensure that I will be graduating in December. So wack. The good news is, eventually I will be blasting the new Owl City album and eventually I will graduate. I suppose I shouldn't assume anything, If I don't make it to June 9th (which feels like a risky jinx) I will at very least have supported Owl City and learned a fair amount before I kicked the bucket. Actually, after learning how much we've screwed up the environment maybe kicking the bucket won't be such a bad alternative. Just kidding. 

        I LOVE the fact that the snow has melted. It is officially, what Vermont's call, Mud Season. It goes Summer, Fall, Winter, mud season. Exciting, nonetheless. Okay well I am starving so I'm going to eat something [= 

"Get to church cause you're a good girl, and he never told you that"

What a day it has been. Busy, stressful and strange. I woke up with a sore throat which provoked me to take allergy medicine to make my throat feel better. This medication said "Day-time" on it. Otherwise I wouldn't have taken it during the day, while I was at work. Needless to say, it knocked me for a loop and I felt like a zombie. Now I feel anxious and wired from the coffee and chocolate bar I consumed. A series of bad choices. Anyway, compared to the main part of my day, the allergy medication was the good part. I never imagined something that I had to deal with a few years ago would rear it's angry head again. Not the type of thing you'd think would happen twice. The kind of extra stressful situation where you are helpless, there is not much I can do. I wasn't happy with the way I was forced to deal with it years ago, and I'm still not happy to make the same choice but I have no other option. Sometimes you must do things you don't want to do and pray for the best outcome. The first time this arose it worked itself out eventually, but I must say it took quite some time. 
        This particular kind of situation does make me realize how important my friends are. Even friends that I'm not so close with anymore. When it comes down to it, even if my worst enemy was in bad enough trouble I'd try to help them. It doesn't matter who it is, there is a point where I would help just about anyone if I could. When a situation gets serious enough I tend to forget any animosity that may have been there. I wish I had an easier time doing this even when the situation wasn't so serious. 
     I suppose sometimes being ridiculously busy is a good thing. When I don't have any room to procrastinate I don't have any option except get some serious work done. Despite an extremely distracted mind, I managed to check a few things off my long list. Also, I will be working double the amount I usually do, next week, because a few people are going away. This means: another crammed week and a substantial amount of money, hopefully. It will all be worth it when it's over. Also, have I mentioned I'm a freak of nature and I enjoy working? Well If I haven't, there you go. I enjoy my job. I know, it's weird.

beautiful

Stumbled across this and instantly loved it.

“Books are mirrors: you only see in them what you already have inside you.” -The Shadow of the Wind

We have been talking about macroeconomics in the the Economics of the Environment course I am taking this semester. How extremely depressing. More specifically, the last two classes we have read an article called "Why Isn't Wall Street in Jail?" the subtitle is "Financial crooks brought down the world's economy- but the feds are doing more to protect them than to prosecute them." Now, I admit I don't fully grasp this whole confusing mess, but I am starting to. I surely grasp it enough to know that these people are cheating the middle class out of their security. How can people like, John Mack, former chairman of Morgan Stanley, sleep at night? I suppose I am just am optimist, so I am forced to believe that he must come up with some sort of justification for what he has done. Or could it be that he is just a horrible human being? How can executives at Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae be caught misreporting their earnings and all they suffer is a fine. The most appalling part, in my opinion, is that our own federal government is not only turning its cheek, but it is playing a part in protecting these people.
        Hearing stuff like this makes me want to bury all the money I save in a bank in my backyard. I honestly feel that my money would be more secure buried in my backyard then in the hands of these corporate crooks. Regardless of the people that are stealing, the system itself is so critically flawed. And the big question: What the hell does anyone do to correct this? God only knows.
       One of the reasons I am looking forward to summer is that I will be able to start reading books for my enjoyment again. Last semester I did pretty well in managing to continue to read some books of my choice. This semester, being that I am taking 17 credits, I really haven't had much time for that. I have managed to compile a list of books that I would like to read this summer. Some of the books we are required to read for classes are quite enjoyable. For example, in Environmental Philosophy we are reading "The Age of Missing Information" by Bill McKibben. I haven't finished it yet, but it is a really thought provoking book so far. I have read a few of McKibben's books and I have enjoyed them all so far. And, of course, "Water for Elephants" which was quite possibly my favorite novel of all time, is coming out on film on April 22nd. Reese Witherspoon, whom may I mention IS MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, is playing one of the main roles. Robert Pattinson, will also be playing one of the main characters. Lets just say I'm a little bit excited.