It's amazing what a deep breath can do

Sometimes it is hard to decide what is truly best for yourself. Most of the time, in my case (and probably a lot of other people's cases), In my heart i know what is best for me, but i do what makes me feel better at the time. Fortunately, I know that this is how i operate and this time i am going to try to actually do what in the long term is going to help me the most. It is always harder when other people's feelings are involved, of course, but you must do what you feel is best. What i am getting used to is taking a deep breath and taking a step back from my emotions and trying to be aware that my outlook on a situation determines how i will feel about it. I had gotten so far from the fact that my happiness is number one, that i have to get used to putting myself first. The past month has been really good though, i feel the best about myself than i have in a long time. There are always going to be moments of struggle, but I am learning how to deal with that. 
       It seems like ever since I have changed my attitude, good things have been falling into my lap. I've been able to spend some really quality time with some of my best friends, I've let go a lot and found myself just laughing and being happy without any conditions to fear. Another funny change I have noticed in myself is how i make plans. I don't, basically. I've just been letting life happen and not trying to plan my life out so much. I've found that the level of stress in my life has dropped off, and i can finally really relax. Feeling good has made me feel even better. There were times in my life that i actually believed that i may not ever feel this good again. Thinking about that, and how close it seems i had been to giving up, is pretty sad. Maybe I wasn't as close as I think though, I mean here i am today doing pretty good I'd say. I don't want to make any real plans about what my future is going to look like, but I can pretty surely say that I think it's gonna be real fucking cool.