I always admire those that can write an amazing blog entry and not sound like a completely crazy individual. Not sounding like a nutjob will definitely be something I aim for. I have recently come to realize that I really enjoy writing. However, the enjoyment I derive from writing is purely a product of leisure writing. I don't recall I've ever gone at writing an essay with anything less than dread and I doubt that will ever change. I hope, that much like drawing, practice makes perfect when it comes to writing. Getting thoughts on paper has always been an issue for me. Thought overload is a common affliction. On occasion though, something exciting will happen to me. I will be writing and suddenly a word will come to me that I wasn't even aware was in my vocabulary. I cannot think of such words at will, they just come to me randomly. For example, I used the word 'exude' the other day for probably the first time ever.
These last few weeks have been a bit crazy. Between internship applications and junior review portfolios and scholarship applications and registering for the fall and housing applications I have been busy. Most of these things are behind me now, thankfully. The constant thought, of course, is what will I do in December when all of this school related stuff is over. For the last 10 years it has been all about school, soon it will be over and I haven't talked much about what comes after. To be honest, I am not worried. Things have a way of working out. It isn't that I don't have ideas, I have quite a few but I am pretty unsure what I want in general. Anything could happen in the next 9 months, I'm not going to get ahead of myself.
On another topic, It seems as though in the last year I've had a couple previously close people drop out of my life for various reasons. One has been particularly harder to let go of. I do believe I've learned quite a bit about myself through this person. For one, they taught me how to light a match which has proved to be a very useful skill. I have witnessed the power that trust can have through this individual. It makes me sad to let go. I've never been good at letting go, I always hold on too long and then have lots of regrets. It is especially hard when you don't want to put a part of your life behind you, but it just feels like the right thing to do. I won't lie, letting go hurt like hell and I know it's going to ache for a while. Ultimately, I feel like I gave it all I had and I can't beat myself up about too much. Regardless of the rough patches I experienced with this person, the entire experience can be characterized as a positive one, and I sure wouldn't trade it for anything. Most importantly, I wish him the very best in his life. I will always have faith that he can do anything he sets his mind to, all he has to do is set his mind.
