Last night was less than ideal. I laid in bed for about 2 hours, finally I gave up trying to sleep. There was a point, where I decided that I needed to do something else because it is very apparent I was never going to sleep otherwise. So I wrote for a while. I attempted sleep again, no luck. I called a friend that I've known since I was about 6 years old. We talked on the phone for about an hour. She is a couple years older than I and is currently attending graduate school. She is the kind of friend that I wouldn't trade for all the money in the world. I know I can call her any time of day or night, no matter what. Maybe most importantly of all, I know she is always going to tell me how it is, not just tell me what I want to hear. We have been through a lot over the years. This morning as I wrote her a letter, my memory unfolded and I sifted through years worth of events. There was four of us, we gave our parents hell. Three of us especially. But this particular friend was always the one with a level head, she was always the one that made the good decisions. Well, the four of us have grown up quite a bit, we've stopped being so young and crazy. Despite some of the trouble we got in, and some of the tears that fell, I look back on those memories and I smile. I know I've done some things in the past that were less than smart, but she always forgave me and she never judged me. As I think about upcoming Easter break and Summer break, these are the friends I look so forward to spending time with. They pretty much know everything about me. They know all of the stupid things I've done, even the ones I don't tell anyone, because they were there. The truth is, friendship is like a revolving door, it has to be able to swing both ways. Talking to my friend last night, and being able to pour out everything that was bothering me, and having her truly listen to me, was really what I needed. Having a friend that will pick up the phone at any time of night, makes me want to be that kind of friend as well. And I know I am, I just don't give myself enough credit sometimes. In particular I've forgiven a friend who I thought for so long didn't deserve my forgiveness, or my friendship. But in the end, nothing matters, if someone needs me I'm going to be there for them. I'm learning what is really important in life, genuine friendship is definitely one of those things. I am immensely proud of myself that I made it through last night without making any stupid choices. I put on my ipod and listened to Taylor Swift, I was already kind of sad and reminiscing anyway so I figured what the hell, why not? After five minutes or so, i drifted off to sleep to the sound of "Ours."
