I'm in deep.

"Hey Sweetie, I need you here tonight

And I know that you don't wanna be leaving

Yeah, you want it but I can't help it

I just feel complete when you're by my side

but i know you can't come home." 

 

 I've never really dealt with something like this before. Anytime that someone in my life has gone away I've always been able to talk to them if I really needed to. I've never been so completely out of control of a situation. Although on the other hand, I am in control of how I react. I promised myself I'd be strong, and so far so good. Last night the amount that I miss him really hit me full force, but I went to sleep and in the morning I felt better. There is no use in making a tough situation even more difficult, may as well make the best of it. 

"I can't sleep, ain't no sleep a-coming

I'm just lying here thinking 'bout you

I'm in deep, falling deep into the picture

In my mind of everything were gonna do"  

Timing

Sometimes things happen to me and it makes me feel like maybe there is a God up there and maybe he's good to the skeptics too. It isn't really a secret that I'm on the long road to recovery after a 3 year relationship. I say I'm on the long road because I don't believe there is a short road if you want to do it the right way, and even if there was one I don't think I'd be on it. Regardless, things have been happening to me that leave me feeling good about the world; happy, content. I'm not in any way an advocate for rebound relationships, and that isn't exactly what I've done, or at least it isn't what I want to focus on. I want to focus on the fact that a really lovely person has come into my life, and I am so happy he did. Beyond the fact that I like this person as more than a friend, this is one of the things that I feel happened to help me. I typically try to give everyone a chance, I like people and I give them chances. I realize nobody is perfect. At the same time, I haven't came across a lot of people that I can open up to, I don't trust many people. Especially coming out of a relationship it can be challenging to trust people again. I really truly think this particular person is a really good person, one worthwhile of my trust. Not to mention, that despite the fact that I've only really known him for a couple months at most, and the fact that he is going away in 11 days (FOR GOOD) he's gonna be a person that I am always there for if he needs anything. That is a big statement for me to make, I understand that. Sometimes people make big gestures and big sacrifices, and I feel that they deserve something for that even though that isn't the reason they do it. How can I describe this person to help you understand? He is mindful and realistic and even though I've felt like an idiot in front of him, I never felt like he was judging me. He is smart and he is an individual, he respects himself and he respects others. He also puts his finger in my face and annoys me on purpose to watch me get irritated because he thinks it's cute, but I can deal with that. Anyway, I had a conversation with this person last night and it left me feeling really sad that there couldn't really possibly be a future with this guy and I tossed and turned in my bed before I was able to fall asleep. At 7:30 I woke up from a text from my best friend. After trying for 5 minutes to fall asleep again I decided to give up and I proceeded to lay in my bed and text my best friend for the next half hour. Getting that text is the next thing that seems to have happened at perfectly the right time. Talking to her managed to shake me out of my emotional bad mood and put things in perspective. I have the very best friends. The third thing that is amazingly perfect timing is the fact that my other best friend is coming home on the 17th, the day after the guy is leaving. Perfect timing? I think so.