Sometimes I really drop the ball and I dive into an ocean of regret and insecurities. I always end up doing things I regret. It's as If I swim down 4,000 feet only to realize that what I was looking for was only a few feet down, and then I panic because I realize I don't have any oxygen. As many people do, I harbor a lot of insecurities. I am my own biggest critic. I guess you could call it a phase, where I just self-destruct for a few weeks. I get this idea in my head that I need to change. I mull over my imperfections something wicked. Well, I've just come out of a phase as described. The conclusion I've drawn is that I do more harm then good when I fall into this phase. There are habits I'd like to lose and things I would like to dedicate myself to, but tearing myself down is not the correct way to go about it. It is really as simple as becoming aware of what I would like to work on, and then taking steps to change it.
On a different note, I have been thinking it is time for a haircut. My hair is quite long at this time and I love it. However, due to frequent mistreatment (straightening mostly) I have developed a more than fair amount of split ends. I would probably have to get 7-8 inches cut off to remove all of the split ends, and that is putting it lightly. The truth is, I have been putting this off because I am embarrassed at what the hairdresser will say. Last time I went to an actual hair cutting place I got a lecture about how I need to get my hair cut more frequently to avoid massive amounts of split ends. I LIKE HAVING MY HAIR LONG AND I DON'T WANT TO SPEND $15 EVERY 2 WEEKS ON HAIRCUTS, OKAY, SO HOP OFF. Really, I was paying for a hair cut, not for a lecture. After that ordeal I began having my mom cut my hair. After being cut with scissors by my mom I promised her she would never come near me with scissors again. Therefore, I am faced with only one choice. Also, I would like to be adventurous and try out bangs again which requires an individual with some skill. I am preparing myself for the worst. I will probably end up going next time I am home, which will intentionally be after I turn 21. So I can get sufficiently drunk if things don't go well. hahaha, Starting off 21 on the right foot.
