Ten Days Gone

This is what I'm listening to right now, this is what I can relate to.

Everything Is You

A valuable lesson

The past few months have taught me a valuable lesson, or maybe it was the past 3 years that taught it to me. Realistically, I think it was the demolition of everything I had built over the past 3 years that taught me the lesson. I have been looking at the recent loss in my life as the end all and be all of everything I know. That is pretty much true, but therein lies the problem. There is more to life then what I have been investing in. I haven't put near enough energy and emphasis on the construction of a career or on the pursuit of fresh air. I haven't really appreciated going out and doing things, by myself if I have to. I stopped doing things because there wasn't always someone there to do them with me. I've made a resolution to do many things differently for the next 20 days, it has started off well. I have forced myself to go into Target even when I wanted to just go home, I forced myself to go for a walk on the rail trail even though it was cold. I made a list this morning and I got 7 out of the 11 things done so far. I made plans for tomorrow so I don't end up sitting in my room the entire day. I've been going on facebook less. It feels good to not focus on the confusion in my life. If my prediction is right, I think the complication might seem a little clearer once I stop analyzing it. You know what? I'm doing okay.

 

Learn to calm the waves and master the monsters

Sometimes it is so difficult to live by the advice of my favorite quote:

"Learn to calm the waves and master the monsters, without allowing yourself to be carried away or caught by them."

-Thich Nhat Hahn

Sometimes it is difficult to dodge the waves in your life. Sometimes I wonder what the right thing is to do, and I almost always come to the conclusion to avoid over-thinking whatever is bothering me. Over-thinking tends to complicate thoughts and tangle you up in feelings you had no interest in becoming involved in. Life, I've learned, can be simple if we let it be. I can't change the way people are going to act or the things they are going to say, but I can control how I react to them. I'm choosing to not react to the waves in my life. I'm choosing to mix things up and start doing things a little differently. I'll let you know how that goes. Stay tuned.

Things I will never stop doing or never start doing

As I was riding in the car last night I had an interesting idea. Throughout the day I had been observing things that people said or did that I didn't really like. I decided to make a list of things I want to promise myself that I will never be, or will never stop being. Here it is so far, I will be adding to it as other things come to me.

1. A person that doesn't listen. 
If there is one thing that I have learned it is how important it is to listen to people. Everyone needs to have someone that they can talk to. I enjoy listening to people, because I care about the people in my life and because I know it helps them. Not to mention, sometimes you are so busy talking that you don't hear what people are trying to tell you about yourself. Listening is a habit that can really open up a relationship. I never want to stop listening.

2. Someone who doesn't recognize nor appreciate blessings in their life. 
I am constantly reminding myself of all the things I have to be grateful for. The people that I love, through their actions, are constantly reminding me why they are in my life and that is how I know they are meant to be there. There is nothing worse than the person that is constantly complaining and dwelling on the things they don't have. People who are appreciative are the people that have more blessings, because they can recognize them.

3. Someone who doesn't say 'I love you' enough.
This goes along with the previous one. Appreciating someone isn't enough, I never want to be the person that doesn't know how to tell someone that they love and appreciate them. The simplest things can show people you care and make all the difference.

4. A person that doesn't respect themselves. 
I've made choices in my life that I look back at and realize that weren't reflecting what I want or think anyone deserves. I am relating particularly in terms of a relationship, but I've written this one to have a much more broad meaning. I want to keep making choices throughout my life that don't undercut my sense of self-worth.

5. Someone who settles. 
 I don't want to settle for less than happiness. I don't want to settle for just money or just convenience. I want to get the most out of the decisions I make, and retain the strength to change things that are no longer lifting me up. 

6. A person that gets caught so much up in other people's business that they lose touch with themselves.
I have come across many people that make everyone's business their own. Some of these people are the same ones that have absolutely no grip on their own flaws or their own problems. I am always amazed at how evident it becomes to me how these people could probably fix their own problems if they spent just a fraction less of their time on meaningless gossip and more on their own life. This is something that bothers me more than anything when I come across it. And this might be the biggest thing on the list, because I think it leads to losing touch with so many aspects of your own life. I never, ever, want to be the person that doesn't focus on own life because I'm too busy focusing on meaningless gossip.

memory lane

My biggest problem with memory lane is that there aren't always rainbows or butterflies there, sometimes it still hurts a little, or a lot, to take that all so familiar stroll down memory lane. There are a lot of good times and smiles and laughs that I can think about, but the monsters down memory lane have a way of jumping out and dragging me to a place I don't care to visit. At the end of the day I have to remind myself that the pain and the sadness in my life has always taught me some sort of lesson, and for that I am thankful. I know that despite the pain I've felt, and the pain I still sometimes feel, I am strong and resilient and I'm going to be okay. Those 'monsters' in the past might get me down some days, but there are always gonna be other things that can lift me up again. I've felt sadness because I've taken risks and I've let people into my heart. I don't want to ever regret loving someone. I can regret decisions and mistakes, but showing someone love is something that is never worth regretting. When I feel like I'm getting dragged down parts of memory lane that I don't want to go I remind myself that I can be strong, that's a decision I can make. Make the decision to be strong.