23.

I have a good feeling about the 23rd year of my life. Somehow this year feels like it is going to be more about me and what makes me happy than the previous few years have been. I want to emphasize something, for the sanity and the sake of anyone reading this. Not every moment of every day is perfect and bright and cheerful. I am just like everyone else in that I have days that I feel less than optimistic and happy. I am very much about self-awareness and taking steps back to really look at myself and the person I am and the person I want to be. Having some bad days is something I can come to grips with, because it makes the good days that much better. Last night I watched a few Jenna Marbles videos and the one that really struck me is called "Draw My Life" (Here is the link to the video) Above all, this video reminded me that every single one of us has lonely days, lonely weeks even. We all have hard decisions to make, Every one deals with heartbreak in their lives. You are never alone, even if it simply be in the fact that there are other person out there going through similar things to you. 

On another note, there is this girl at a local gas station that is so sweet every time i go there. I genuinely appreciate that she goes out of her way to be friendly and nice. I'm making more of an effort to be friendly and go out of my way for people. It might not make any difference in the world, but it feels worth the risk.

Reality

Interesting things have been happening in my life. The past month and a half or so I have spent a considerable amount of time running around and a considerable reduced amount of time on tumblr and the computer in general. I might add a reduction in time spent in my room as well. I've been running and working and studying and kayaking and hiking and eating good food and playing softball and reading and exploring and going to baseball games and going to the beach. My life feels fuller than it has in a long time and I feel so very satisfied. I've had this notion for a long time that I couldn't do things on my own. It seems that I thought I needed all this emotional support from the wrong people. I don't mean this in any way negatively towards those people either, this post is way more about myself. I've discovered that it was surprisingly easy to bounce back to being on my own, it was remembering that I never truly am on my own. I went for a hike with an old friend that I hadn't seen in quite a while and he passed along a quote that someone passed along to him. This is how it goes: 

"My sky feels smaller when no longer sharing the horizon,
Its twice the size and all to myself. Selfish, You say? It’s a humble reminder that the world was yours from the start"