"Real life I'm sad to see you go, I'll miss you with all my heart, but I'd rather be alone."

Ah, I am so sick. Running on allergy medicine today. I have a presentation in about half an hour on the relationship between social media and the natural environment. An interesting subject to ponder. The presentation is only 2 minutes long, thankfully. It has gotten me thinking, though. Social media, the internet, In my opinion, is no substitution for spending time in nature. The constant information that is thrown at internet users has it's place, but this doesn't particularly lead to any understanding of any situation.  It is so easy to get carried away with psychological needs and complaints while browsing the internet. Every social pressure and image is displayed for all to see. There is a sense of peace and slice of reality in nature that just isn't present in the online world.
       I can hardly believe it is April 8th already. Before I know it, it is going to be Summer break. I have mixed feelings about that of course. I am looking forward to relaxing for a bit, that is certain. Vermont will be missed though, I am sure. I apologize for my sort of boring, short posts lately. I have been really really busy. Hopefully this weekend I will have more time to write a thoughtful post.

"Dreams don't turn to dust"

 

First of all, I am pissed. The release date for the new Owl City album, All Things Bright and Beautiful, which I pre-ordered, has been pushed back to June 9th. What the hell. So instead of getting home for the summer and blasting new Owl City music in my car, with the sunroof open, I will be blasting old Owl City music. Mildly pissed. On a different, but equally pissed note, I have a shit ton of things to do. I just met with the registrar office and received 2 more forms/processes I have to go through to ensure that I will be graduating in December. So wack. The good news is, eventually I will be blasting the new Owl City album and eventually I will graduate. I suppose I shouldn't assume anything, If I don't make it to June 9th (which feels like a risky jinx) I will at very least have supported Owl City and learned a fair amount before I kicked the bucket. Actually, after learning how much we've screwed up the environment maybe kicking the bucket won't be such a bad alternative. Just kidding. 

        I LOVE the fact that the snow has melted. It is officially, what Vermont's call, Mud Season. It goes Summer, Fall, Winter, mud season. Exciting, nonetheless. Okay well I am starving so I'm going to eat something [= 

"Get to church cause you're a good girl, and he never told you that"

What a day it has been. Busy, stressful and strange. I woke up with a sore throat which provoked me to take allergy medicine to make my throat feel better. This medication said "Day-time" on it. Otherwise I wouldn't have taken it during the day, while I was at work. Needless to say, it knocked me for a loop and I felt like a zombie. Now I feel anxious and wired from the coffee and chocolate bar I consumed. A series of bad choices. Anyway, compared to the main part of my day, the allergy medication was the good part. I never imagined something that I had to deal with a few years ago would rear it's angry head again. Not the type of thing you'd think would happen twice. The kind of extra stressful situation where you are helpless, there is not much I can do. I wasn't happy with the way I was forced to deal with it years ago, and I'm still not happy to make the same choice but I have no other option. Sometimes you must do things you don't want to do and pray for the best outcome. The first time this arose it worked itself out eventually, but I must say it took quite some time. 
        This particular kind of situation does make me realize how important my friends are. Even friends that I'm not so close with anymore. When it comes down to it, even if my worst enemy was in bad enough trouble I'd try to help them. It doesn't matter who it is, there is a point where I would help just about anyone if I could. When a situation gets serious enough I tend to forget any animosity that may have been there. I wish I had an easier time doing this even when the situation wasn't so serious. 
     I suppose sometimes being ridiculously busy is a good thing. When I don't have any room to procrastinate I don't have any option except get some serious work done. Despite an extremely distracted mind, I managed to check a few things off my long list. Also, I will be working double the amount I usually do, next week, because a few people are going away. This means: another crammed week and a substantial amount of money, hopefully. It will all be worth it when it's over. Also, have I mentioned I'm a freak of nature and I enjoy working? Well If I haven't, there you go. I enjoy my job. I know, it's weird.

beautiful

Stumbled across this and instantly loved it.

“Books are mirrors: you only see in them what you already have inside you.” -The Shadow of the Wind

We have been talking about macroeconomics in the the Economics of the Environment course I am taking this semester. How extremely depressing. More specifically, the last two classes we have read an article called "Why Isn't Wall Street in Jail?" the subtitle is "Financial crooks brought down the world's economy- but the feds are doing more to protect them than to prosecute them." Now, I admit I don't fully grasp this whole confusing mess, but I am starting to. I surely grasp it enough to know that these people are cheating the middle class out of their security. How can people like, John Mack, former chairman of Morgan Stanley, sleep at night? I suppose I am just am optimist, so I am forced to believe that he must come up with some sort of justification for what he has done. Or could it be that he is just a horrible human being? How can executives at Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae be caught misreporting their earnings and all they suffer is a fine. The most appalling part, in my opinion, is that our own federal government is not only turning its cheek, but it is playing a part in protecting these people.
        Hearing stuff like this makes me want to bury all the money I save in a bank in my backyard. I honestly feel that my money would be more secure buried in my backyard then in the hands of these corporate crooks. Regardless of the people that are stealing, the system itself is so critically flawed. And the big question: What the hell does anyone do to correct this? God only knows.
       One of the reasons I am looking forward to summer is that I will be able to start reading books for my enjoyment again. Last semester I did pretty well in managing to continue to read some books of my choice. This semester, being that I am taking 17 credits, I really haven't had much time for that. I have managed to compile a list of books that I would like to read this summer. Some of the books we are required to read for classes are quite enjoyable. For example, in Environmental Philosophy we are reading "The Age of Missing Information" by Bill McKibben. I haven't finished it yet, but it is a really thought provoking book so far. I have read a few of McKibben's books and I have enjoyed them all so far. And, of course, "Water for Elephants" which was quite possibly my favorite novel of all time, is coming out on film on April 22nd. Reese Witherspoon, whom may I mention IS MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, is playing one of the main roles. Robert Pattinson, will also be playing one of the main characters. Lets just say I'm a little bit excited.

"Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't want to live there."

I don't understand why some people feel the need to be mean. Today I had to register for two summer classes and get some other school related things worked out. I called the registrar's office at a college  that I will refrain from disclosing the name of....actually nah, I won't, it was at SUNY Ulster. The woman I spoke to was just plain nasty to me for absolutely no reason. I was so close to asking her why she was being so difficult, maybe then she would get a sort of wake up call. Even if I am having a bad day, I am never mean to people, especially when I am at work. In a way it is good to run into people like that every once in a while, because they make you really appreciate the nice, friendly people out there. They also remind you how important it is to be patient and kind. 
         Today was a pretty gloomy day, it rained for the majority of the day. However, after my lovely conversation with the woman in the registrar's office, things improved substantially. I managed to register for one of the classes I need and I straightened out some of the other questions I had. Picking out classes for my last semester makes me wonder how the hell I got to this point? When I was in high school it seemed like forever, but college flew right by me. Experiencing this is totally unreal. I am immensely proud of myself and extremely thankful to all the people that contributed to how far I've gotten. I wish my freshman in high school self could see me now, would have saved me a lot of worrying. We all have our own mountains to climb, finishing college is just one of several monsters I've managed to master. There are certainly others I'm still working on. 
        One of my professors said something today that made my heart smile. This particular professor is one of my absolute favorites. Ironically, I was absurdly frightened of him at the start of the semester because he is one of the professors that calls on people, no matter whether their hand is up or not. This is not my cup of tea. However, I have surprised myself and I now love his class and have managed to be a rather coherent speaker. Anyway, after discussing the reading we had done for class he said something to this effect: "The reading we just discussed is an excerpt from a very popular law school textbook, the majority of environmental law programs use this book. That means that any of you could do just fine in a law program, you have the skills you need to succeed." I was extremely impressed by this statement because, to me, it seemed so premeditated. He sounded so sincere and it is as if he was saying this to us because he remembers what it is like to be juniors and seniors in college and be scared out of your mind because you have no idea what you want to do and no idea if you are prepared for what will come next. He was successful in raising my hopes, if only a little bit, that maybe someday I will go to to law school. Just a side note, he is an attorney and has practiced law in Japan and California. Seems like a pretty solid piece of encouragement. As I walked up the steps to Ames this afternoon, I couldn't help but feel as if I was where I belong.

"The layered sadness and the madness it revolves"

It is a gorgeous day. Unfortunately for me, I have a lot of work to catch up on. Maybe later I will manage to get out for a little bit and go for a run. I really love the feeling I get in Spring, that everyday brings the guarantee that the days following will be increasingly more beautiful and warm. The beginning of April can be unpredictable to a point, but the point is that Summer is coming. I don't think I've fully come to terms with the fact that I'm turning 21 in 2 weeks. I can remember so clearly when my brother and his friends were turning 21, it seems totally unreal that they are now turning 25 and I am in their place. It's funny because whenever some thing big like this approaches I am tempted to want to put on the breaks. Yes, this is super awesome that I can now legally drink, but I have many years to be able to drink. Maybe I want to be 20 for another year? haha, just kidding. Really tho, I've heard that 21 is the ideal age, and that after 21 it all goes downhill. Will this be the last birthday that I look forward to? Shit. I guess if the world ends in 2012 I'll be glad that I had 8 months to be 21. Either way, 21 is coming. 
     Yesterday I practiced piano for an hour or so. Taking piano lessons was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I really enjoy playing the piano. It can be frustrating at times because I wish I was better than I am but I suppose that just means I need to practice more and I will improve more quickly. I am getting better tho and the plan is to continue playing over the summer. Well, I better get back to my work or I'll never get outside today.