"Red Light" David Nail

"Some are coming home, some are leaving town while my world's crashing down on a Sunday in the sunshine, at a red light."

Summer smile again

I'm happy that it is today, and no longer yesterday. I'm going to give this new day a better shot. Today, just happens to be my sister's 27th birthday. I can't call her until later because she lives in New Mexico, I think she would be very unhappy if I woke her up this early. My first morning class was canceled today! I have to practice piano, then class at 11, then group meeting, then piano lessons, then run, then try to get a lot of work done. I really hope these next three days hurry up already. 
         So, I'm 21 years old. holy shittttt! I need to figure out what my resolution is going to be. I have a pretty good idea actually. My resolution is going to be to try to be a more aware, more mindful person. I often make decisions or say things that I don't really think about before I do them. Being more aware of my thoughts and my actions is going to be my resolution.

"Shit my Dad Says"

"Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."  -Justin Halpern

"We are not always what we seem,

and hardly ever what we dream."
                                                       -The Last Unicorn-

Time says I should but I haven’t yet

Well, today is the day. Doesn't feel any different or any more special than yesterday or the day before. I opened the two gifts from my parents, a silver and blue bracelet and a dress. I like both. What I really want to do is get in my car and just drive to the beach. I don't know where the closest beach is....but that is where I want to go. Unfortunately I have classes, so I can't do that. Currently I am listening to Dean Brody. I will probably go running around 4, after my last class. I am not expecting much out of this day.....and yes, I realize how depressing that sounds. One of my best friends called me at midnight to wish me a happy birthday. Without being on facebook, I doubt many other people will remember. I guess I don't really care, it's not really a big deal. 
          The thing I'm looking the most forward to is work on Wednesday, how ridiculous is that? I like work though. Actually I do kind of enjoy the drive home also......another strange thing to enjoy, but it is what it is. Maybe on the way home I'll stop and pick up some chocolate milk from Battenkill Valley Creamery. The best chocolate milk ever!!! I may write again later, We'll see.

Gimme a sign, I swear I'm gonna make it up to you

If only I didn't make things more complicated than they need to be. This is the predicament I am in: I feel as though I need to do something (there is a specific thing on my mind but I am not going to disclose it, so bear with me) but I don't know when to do it. I mean, I formulated a plan, which can be difficult enough when so many feelings are involved. Waiting is, perhaps, the most difficult part. The plan has been made, and it is such a good plan, but the waiting is absolutely killing me. But I know, I have to hold on. I know that if I make a move before the already decided upon time I will ruin the plan altogether. So I suppose in the mean time I will have to deal with myself. I have been mulling over this the entire day and it is driving me crazy. I have 4 more days to wait. I should be all super excited about my birthday, but for the first time ever, all I want is for my birthday to pass so it can be Friday morning already. And then there is the concern that some part of the plan will not go how I expect it to. There is really only one factor that could be a big concern if it doesn't play out how I imagine it to.....and then there is a second part that I really hope turns out a certain way, but I am expecting the opposite. Always expect the worst, that way you cannot get hurt. That is one of the things I've never known whether to believe or not. In this case, I am going to choose to believe it. Seems like sound advice if I don't want to destroy myself, maybe that is what I am headed for anyway. I guess I will find out on Friday.
            Currently, I am sitting at my desk. I should be typing a two-page essay, or emailing a professor, or emailing my boss, or finishing my internship proposal, or figuring how to register for a class tomorrow, or at very least finishing the drawing that is in progress. But of course, I am not doing any of those things because my style is more of a wait-until-the-last-minute kind.

"All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you."

Yayyyyy, I made $84 in tips last night. I am blessed to really like all of the people I work with. The girl I worked with last night really reminds me of myself in some ways. We have a history of very similar guy issues. She is really sweet. We hung out for a little after work.
        Right now I am listening to Owl City (surprise surprise). That reminds me of years ago, for my birthday, Katina and Deanna made me cards and deanna wrote "Suprise" on the front. I still have the card and we still laugh about that. I think that was the same year that Deanna was pissed because she made the card at Katina's house and Katina wouldn't let her print out picture to put on her card. haha, I love those two. 
        Last night before work I started a new drawing. I worked on it for probably an hour and a half straight. It isn't done but it looks pretty decent so far. It is a landscape in pencil, difficult because the instance I am trying to draw it was dark out. So far I am liking it, still needs a lot of work though. It is going to be a gift, I don't need to finish it until Friday. Drawing has a similar effect on me as running does. When I am drawing, everything that has been on my mind seems to just melt away.