I slept so well last night. I worked 4-8, it was exhausting. There was a couple rude people that came in, that really wears me down. A table of 4 came in, they were probably 18 or 19, they didn't leave a tip at all. Abby and I were both waiting on them, and we didn't do anything wrong. Some people are just so disrespectful. I think some people are obnoxious without even being aware of it. So, anyway, it's a good thing I got a good nights sleep because I really needed it. Words, however, are not coming to me. Ohhhh, I just remembered something. Yesterday, I ran about a mile and a half on the rail trail, then I stopped and sat by a section of the Poultney River that has turned into a kind of marsh. I just enjoyed the sound of the birds and took everything in. After a few minutes, I spotted a turtle. He climbed up to a dry spot in the sun. Before I knew it there were 10 turtles sunning themselves. They were painted turtles and they were adorable. The little island they were on was getting so crowded that newcomers had to climb over the turtles already sunning. I think I spend 20 minutes watching turtles, it was relaxing. Today I am going to go to TJmaxx in Rutland. I don't need anything but I haven't gone shopping in a while so I feel the urge to do that. Well of course, and fuel up on Dunkin Donuts coffee. It is a little overcast today, but it appears as though the sun may come out sometime during the day. I work again 4-8 tonight. Hopefully the customers are less rude and I have more patience. It is worth it anyway, Friday and Saturday nights the tips are pretty good. Sorry for the lame post today, I wasn't really into it.
Last night was less than ideal. I laid in bed for about 2 hours, finally I gave up trying to sleep. There was a point, where I decided that I needed to do something else because it is very apparent I was never going to sleep otherwise. So I wrote for a while. I attempted sleep again, no luck. I called a friend that I've known since I was about 6 years old. We talked on the phone for about an hour. She is a couple years older than I and is currently attending graduate school. She is the kind of friend that I wouldn't trade for all the money in the world. I know I can call her any time of day or night, no matter what. Maybe most importantly of all, I know she is always going to tell me how it is, not just tell me what I want to hear. We have been through a lot over the years. This morning as I wrote her a letter, my memory unfolded and I sifted through years worth of events. There was four of us, we gave our parents hell. Three of us especially. But this particular friend was always the one with a level head, she was always the one that made the good decisions. Well, the four of us have grown up quite a bit, we've stopped being so young and crazy. Despite some of the trouble we got in, and some of the tears that fell, I look back on those memories and I smile. I know I've done some things in the past that were less than smart, but she always forgave me and she never judged me. As I think about upcoming Easter break and Summer break, these are the friends I look so forward to spending time with. They pretty much know everything about me. They know all of the stupid things I've done, even the ones I don't tell anyone, because they were there. The truth is, friendship is like a revolving door, it has to be able to swing both ways. Talking to my friend last night, and being able to pour out everything that was bothering me, and having her truly listen to me, was really what I needed. Having a friend that will pick up the phone at any time of night, makes me want to be that kind of friend as well. And I know I am, I just don't give myself enough credit sometimes. In particular I've forgiven a friend who I thought for so long didn't deserve my forgiveness, or my friendship. But in the end, nothing matters, if someone needs me I'm going to be there for them. I'm learning what is really important in life, genuine friendship is definitely one of those things. I am immensely proud of myself that I made it through last night without making any stupid choices. I put on my ipod and listened to Taylor Swift, I was already kind of sad and reminiscing anyway so I figured what the hell, why not? After five minutes or so, i drifted off to sleep to the sound of "Ours."
I'm attempting to write this entry in 9 minutes, because I have an Economics test at 9:30 and I really need to keep studying. So excuse me if this seems rushed. I am currently drinking Think-O tea. My mom sent me this tea in the mail last Spring and I only drink it before important tests. That is kinda nerdy and superstitious I suppose, but maybe it actually works! Let's hope it works, because I need as much mental clarity as I can get. Can I make a suggestion. If you are a smart individual that loves music, you will exclude music from your next relationship. I have a very difficult time listening to itunes. Unfortunately, my last relationship was so very much about sharing music and talking about music and even about making music! (does that sound perverse?) I find it quite difficult to listen to John Mayer and Taylor Swift in particular. Eventually I hope It will become easier to listen to the majority of their songs, I know there were always be several that bring with them a flood of memories and a fair amount of pain. I'm sure this is a common infliction. Lesson learned So it appears that people are actually reading my blog. Don't worry, I can't find out who you are, I can only see how many people view it per day. I am typically a kind of private person so this is a strange, new experience for me, but it is good. I actually have had this blog for several years but a month or so ago I deleted all my previous posts and started over and made it public. Trust me, you aren't missing out on anything....or maybe you are....my older posts were just seriously depressing and far too private. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading what I write. Writing is a real enjoyable experience for me. I write when I'm happy, I write when I'm sad, I write when something is bothering me. Writing often keeps me from saying things I know I should refrain from saying. I also keep a journal that I write in almost every day. I actually have a sort-of-love-affair with beautiful journals. I just filled the most gorgeous leather journal, with a rose inscripted on the cover. I love photography and quotes as well, that is why you will see so many of them. Okay, I'm over my time limit. Economics will never be my cup of tea, but I'm going to give it a good shot.
Haha. It's only 9:23, but it's been an amusing day already. I dragged myself out of bed at 6:40...............................................................................................ugh. I proceeded to dress and brush my teeth in about 5 minutes and then drive to Castleton to get this god-forsaken eye test out of the way. I was told to arrive at 7:15. Lesson learned, never fucking trust health care professionals!!!! I walked around the building for about 5 minutes because ALL of the doors were locked. ha-ha-ha funnyyyy guys. Fortunately I knew I had to run in the rain later so I would get rained on eventually. Can I just say that I hate the doctors office. I mean, I don't think many people like it, but I have had some bad experiences. I've thrown up and cried in the doctor's office, both pretty awkward and embarrassing. What really gets me is that they felt the need to weigh me, take my temperature, my blood pressure and my pulse....oh, AND ask me about my families health history. Okay, I need a god damn eye test. Next time I'm going to ask them to do me a big favor and cut the shit and just do what I need them to do. Maybe then they wouldn't have to charge a $15 co-pay and maybe I wouldn't have to wait 20 minutes for the doctor to come in. Well, now that I'm done ranting, the good news is that I knocked that eye test out of the park. My vision, combined both eyes, is 20/13. I actually googled what that means because I wanted to boost my confidence in my eyes. It means that I can see things from 20 feet that most people can only see from 13 feet. My right eye is actually not as good as my left eye, my left eye is 20/15, but when i read with both eyes it was 20/13 as well as with just my left eye. And then i had to write a check to the New York Department of Motor Vehicles for $64.50 and I was pissed again. Even though it was raining this morning, it wasn't too bad to run. The rain had slowed quite a bit, I barely got wet. Now I just need to take a shower, force myself to eat something (still have no appetite), print out a study guide for the Economics test I have tomorrow, go to the post office and then work 11-8. I can't complain, I've been getting a lot done lately and I know as soon as I go home I'm going to be bored and depressed. Ohhhh..and one more thing, I'm talking to someone new....like a new boy.....very strange. But good. I may dish more tomorrow, but probably not.
I got myself up at 6:30 this morning and went for a run. Well, my alarm clock got me up, but I actually went! Probably the longest running streak I've gone since high school, two days. haha. Tomorrow morning I have to get up early anyway to go to a doctor's appointment in Castleton to get an eye exam to renew my driver's license. Stooooopid. But I'd like to not have to take my driver's test all over again, so it's probably worth it. Then, after that, I have work from 11-8. What-a-day. Just as I expected, these days are flying by. So, there is this squirrel on campus. I mean, there are lots of squirrels, but there is this ONE particular squirrel that has completely stolen my heart. He/she is so freaking cute. First of all, this squirrel is little. I'm talking half the size of all the other squirrels. Now, I don't know if it is a baby or what, but nonetheless, adorable. Secondly, this squirrel is not gray, no, gray squirrels are run-of-the-mill. This little guy/girl is RED. Actually, now that I say that I realized it is probably a red squirrel, I think maybe they are smaller than gray squirrels. I don't think I have ever seen a red squirrel until now, but I wouldn't mind seeing a whole lot more of them Although I have gotten a lot done these last two weeks, these are the things I have not gotten done: an oil change, a haircut, laundry, check my mail, send mail....aaaand there is something else that I can't remember. All of these things have completely taken the back burner to the massive amount of other more important stuff I have going on. Oh yeah, practice piano is the last thing. I have piano lessons this afternoon and I have practiced a total of about 30-45 minutes this week. uh-oh. I figured honesty is the best policy, I'm just going to fess up and admit I was super busy and barely practiced. In the mean time, I'm going to go practice now so I can at least get an hour in.
Yes, I know this is my third post today. I am well aware, thanks. I just had to write AGAIN. This will make up for some of the days I forget to post. So I just went on a run. I was all waiting until it was warm enough to run outside...I hate to be a complete Debbie downer, but it may have actually been too warm. Well I survived. I felt....out of shape.....butttttt it also felt good to go out and get my blood pumping and move my legs around. I am going to try to run every day. This week that is going to involve going to bed early and getting up early. Endorphins are perhaps the most amazing things on this planet. Natural anti-depressant, and they're free. You can't beat that. I want to set a goal, I want to run a marathon, or maybe a half marathon first. Maybe I will try to achieve that the Spring I graduate. That would be two accomplishments I would be really proud of. I want my body to feel good and healthy again. I am also considering (prepare yourself for this one) giving up meat again....for a while at least. Maybe this will be my 21st birthday resolution. Hey, why not?
