Grace

 

Merriam-Webster defines Grace as "ease and suppleness of movement or bearing, a charming or attractive trait or characteristic, a virtue coming from God, the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful." She handles her problems with grace and dignity, they use as the example. Grace is a characteristic that I strive to adopt. To me, to have grace means to let negative things roll of your back, and treat the world and those you meet with respect and be just the right amount attentive. I feel that to have grace, means to treat others and yourself with respect. To take things, not because you think you deserve them, but because you think anyone deserves to be valued and deserves to be loved. This may all sound so cheesy, but to have grace is a great compliment and accomplishment in my eyes.
           My actions don't always reflect the way I feel. I often don't grant myself the appreciation or the credit that I have worked hard for. I have never been one to let anyone walk all over me, until the last year or so. I've done my share of wrong-doing as well, but two wrongs don't make a right. I hope these next 6 days I can work on keeping my chin up, and allowing myself some of the respect that I know I, like everyone else, deserve. I'm not blaming, I'm not pointing fingers. People often don't realize the implications of their actions. Sometimes feelings are hurt without any ill intention, without any maliciousness. I believe this situation is a good example of that, but nonetheless, It is my responsibility to protect myself, and to remove myself from a situation when I don't feel I am being treated right. I know I'm not perfect, I've paid for many mistakes I've made. There is no shame, nothing wrong, with taking a few steps back and putting aside some time to recover, to heal. 

"Oh I miss those days, as the years go by, Nothing's sweeter than summertime."

The days finally seem as though they are passing very slowly. Yesterday felt like an eternity. Most of the hard work is behind me now. I have one paper and a couple exams to go. All done with presentations, thank god. It seems like lately, there is always something I have to do. I am going to be so relieved when I can go home and relax for like 4 days, until I have to look for a job and start my summer classes. 
        It is so easy to get caught up in looking to the future, it is so easy to get caught up in being stuck in the past. Why is it so hard to savor the present? I feel like I am always saying, oh, well I'll enjoy the present once I am home, or once this happens, or that. There is always a better time that I think I should value the present. I know that isn't a good way to live life.

"It's not over until it's over"

A presentation and a paper will be put behind me today, looking forward to that. Devin is home, which makes me want to be home even more!! I am really excited though, because my mom is coming to visit me on Saturday evening and then staying until Sunday evening. The next day I have an open notes final and then a class meeting and then I go home! It was so beautiful yesterday,  I went to the lake and soaked in the sun. 
     As I think about this semester, and the things I have completed, I can't help but be proud. They were a few weeks that I didn't know how I was going to get everything done. There were times when I was super unsure whether I could do something, but I have done it. I am very happy these classes will be behind me in 7 days. Next semester is going to be a tough one also, I know I can do it though.

Really?

I should be writing the 6 page paper that is due tomorrow. Instead, I am on wikipedia reading about pf flyers. Seriously, I am not joking around. I feel as though when you have reached the point where you are researching shit like pf flyers to avoid doing your paper...you should slap yourself and then write your paper. I mean, I don't even have that much more shit to do, all I have to do is bang this paper out and one more thing is behind me. Lol. Ridiculous. Imma do my paper now.

I'm with stupid

"Bid the forest floor goodbye"

 

I slept in this morning, it was amazing. I feel well-rested. Yesterday I started a list of things to do this summer. I know what happens when I return home, I am like oh yay, I'm home, and then after a day I find myself incredibly bored. Therefore, I am preparing myself ahead of time. If I have a list of things to do, then whenever I am bored I can just look at that list and pick something to do. The one thing I am really excited for is the painting class I am taking on Tuesday and Thursday nights. I have a feeling, with the right attitude, this summer could be a real good one.

Bittersweet

"It was the close of a long chapter of life, the kind of conclusion that keeps you awake for days, pacing the house with the lights out and the phone off. This particular sad farewell left a hole in my chest and a bittersweet taste in my mouth, as saying goodbye has a way of doing."
 -Adam Young