23.

I have a good feeling about the 23rd year of my life. Somehow this year feels like it is going to be more about me and what makes me happy than the previous few years have been. I want to emphasize something, for the sanity and the sake of anyone reading this. Not every moment of every day is perfect and bright and cheerful. I am just like everyone else in that I have days that I feel less than optimistic and happy. I am very much about self-awareness and taking steps back to really look at myself and the person I am and the person I want to be. Having some bad days is something I can come to grips with, because it makes the good days that much better. Last night I watched a few Jenna Marbles videos and the one that really struck me is called "Draw My Life" (Here is the link to the video) Above all, this video reminded me that every single one of us has lonely days, lonely weeks even. We all have hard decisions to make, Every one deals with heartbreak in their lives. You are never alone, even if it simply be in the fact that there are other person out there going through similar things to you. 

On another note, there is this girl at a local gas station that is so sweet every time i go there. I genuinely appreciate that she goes out of her way to be friendly and nice. I'm making more of an effort to be friendly and go out of my way for people. It might not make any difference in the world, but it feels worth the risk.

Reality

Interesting things have been happening in my life. The past month and a half or so I have spent a considerable amount of time running around and a considerable reduced amount of time on tumblr and the computer in general. I might add a reduction in time spent in my room as well. I've been running and working and studying and kayaking and hiking and eating good food and playing softball and reading and exploring and going to baseball games and going to the beach. My life feels fuller than it has in a long time and I feel so very satisfied. I've had this notion for a long time that I couldn't do things on my own. It seems that I thought I needed all this emotional support from the wrong people. I don't mean this in any way negatively towards those people either, this post is way more about myself. I've discovered that it was surprisingly easy to bounce back to being on my own, it was remembering that I never truly am on my own. I went for a hike with an old friend that I hadn't seen in quite a while and he passed along a quote that someone passed along to him. This is how it goes: 

"My sky feels smaller when no longer sharing the horizon,
Its twice the size and all to myself. Selfish, You say? It’s a humble reminder that the world was yours from the start"

Grace, not perfection.

Some days it feels like there is nobody I can talk to. Today is one of those days. The last few days have been stressful; between work and the uncertainty of what is next for me. There are moments where I'd just like to crumble, and reduce myself down. Feeling a little lost in this big old world. There are times when I wonderful how everyone else navigates through life and dodges obstacles. I'd say more likely than not, it's actually about how one deals with obstacles they are presented with, not about dodging. Today is a day where I feel I've hit a dead end. I am finishing up the short answer questions for an Americorps application. I'm trying to persist with this, even though it feels like a hopeless day, I know tomorrow has unlimited potential to be better. And as one of my favorite quotes goes;

 "I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection."
 

peaceful

I am sitting here at my desk listening to a song that has been one of my absolute favorites for a long time. The song is "Bless the Broken Road" By Rascal Flatts. If ever down the road I happen to get married I'd like to have this song played. I am straight relaxing right now, about to start studying for the LSAT. It is beautiful outside and the light through my window is perfect. I've been looking out that window for the past 23 years, and somehow I feel like I'm on the edge of a stage in my life. I know there will be a time in my life where I will miss the view from this window and I will miss the peacefulness I enjoy in this room with music the playing. And right now I feel like I can appreciate what i have while still being exciting about what's next. 
          

lovely Sunday

Sunday is such a lovely day. It feels as if May came out of nowhere, I don't remember April happening!! I've been quite busy which is probably why the time seems like it flew by. Work, running and studying has done a good job at keeping me always moving. In 9 days my love will be graduating from Marine Combat training. How proud I am of him! What an accomplishment. We will have been together for 5 months on the 12th of this month. Yesterday I received 5 letters from him!!  And I have many exciting things to look forward to as well. Last Sunday I registered for the LSAT which I will be taking on June 10th. What a big step I've taken in my life, I can hardly wait to start down that road. Not every day is a good day, but I'd say there are many more good days than bad recently. For that, I can't fairly complain. Well it is time for me to be productive!!

Hiking & Mango Margaritas

My life has been pretty lovely. I've been busy lately which has probably contributed to my happiness, I haven't had the time to bother myself about things. Working full time has been really good for me and I have just taken time to go hiking and out for drinks, etc. in the time I do have free. I had the most divine Mango Margarita on Saturday. 

 

Crazy, beautiful, busy life.

Whoa, my life has been crazy busy for the past 3 weeks. It all started with the trip to South Carolina and then the ten days of Greg being home. The day Greg left I started working full time at the veterinary hospital. Getting back into the swing of working full time is really exhausting and crazy. I have to say though, I am happy to be working so much. I am grateful to be busy. Things are taking off, and although I feel like I have no time to even sit down I am happy how things are. I have been filling up the time that I am not working which leaves not much time to get stuff done like doing laundry, washing my car and finishing filing my taxes. Saturday after work I went to a local historical site that is the former home of a famous painter, it was a beautiful day. I was excited to do something that has been on my mental bucket list for quite some time. The bonus was being able to spend that time with my best friend. Sunday was Easter of course, I spent it in the city with my boyfriend's twin sister. She is really sweet and it was fun going to the city and visiting the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Today of course I worked and then I went exploring for a while with my Mom. I just finished washing my car and the next item on my list is to go through all my clothes and get rid of a bunch of them! Wish me luck!